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Angel's Child Abuse Memorial

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This page is about how to avoid hurting your own children...
...Because Parenting Is a Tough Job to Do!
 
While creating the Child Abuse Memorial, the stories that made me feel the sickest were the ones in which two or more people had collaborated to abuse the child or even intentionally murdered the child; and the stories where the abuse was so severe that it could be classified as torture. In these types of conditions, it seems to me that the abusers must have been mentally ill. How, I ask myself, could one human being do that to another human being? Let alone, to a child? Let alone, their own child?
 
Many of the children featured on the memorial died from the abuse because it was so severe, and/or repetitive. However, I think more often than not abuse is not planned at all, but happens in a split second, when a caregiver has had it with a child, and just snaps. In that way,
 
I am assuming that the types of severely ill, murderous adults will not be visiting a site dedicated to the prevention of abuse. I am creating this particular page for the rest of the world... the parents and caregivers who know what it's like to be stressed out by a child... who may read some of the stories of abuse that happened in a split second, and in the back of their minds, be thinking, "There but for the grace of God go my child and I."
 



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Angel's Ideas for Preventing Child Abuse
 IN YOUR OWN HOME!
 
1. BE AWARE OF ABUSE. One of the reasons I created this site... and hope to create a traveling memorial... is to make people realize how fragile a child's body is. I suspect many parents who abuse their child don't, at the time, intend to kill their child or even hurt the child very badly. They just want to stop the child from doing whatever the child is doing. By realizing what can happen if you hurt your child, you can start to look for other ways to deal with the child.
 
2. IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD. Many abusive parents probably feel isolated, and stuck or saddled with their children by themselves. Try to create your own system of support. If you don't have supportive family members who live near you, try meeting new people. Maybe you have neighbors with children who your children play with, or the parents of your child's school friends or daycare friends. When you are at your last wit with your child, it can help to have someone to pick up the phone and gripe to, who will understand where you're coming from and who won't try to critique your parenting skills.
 
3. MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF. A roommate I had who was a single parent developed a trick for getting some time to herself without her son. She found a church nearby, and enrolled her child in the Sunday school that went on during the service. Then, with a clear conscience because her son was someplace learning and having fun, my roommate would run errands or take a quick nap. If you go to church yourself and don't feel like skipping church while your child is in Sunday School or nursery, try finding a different church with a Sunday school class at a different time than the service at your church. You can go to church while your child is in Sunday school, then take him to the second place while you get some "me" time! (Hey, it worked great for my roommate!)
 
4. SEEK PARENTING ADVICE. The same roommate had a son with a lot of behavior issues, and she really was at the end of her rope with him. My roommate read the book 1-2-3 Magic, took it to heart, and applied the advice in the book to a T. It worked wonderfully for our home, and I'd recommend it to anyone!
 
5. BE VERY CAREFUL about who you introduce into your child's life... especially if you are a single parent looking for a new partner!  In a lot of the stories I've read involving children who died from abuse, the perpetrator was a stepparent or the partner of a parent. It is not always the mother's boyfriend or husband, either... In many cases, children have been severely abused by a father's wife or girlfriend! If your new partner or spouse is going to be alone with your child or be a part of the discipline process, remember that YOU are that child's parent. Make it clear what you do and don't do when it comes to discipline. Also, if your child has visits with his other parent, and that parent has a new spouse or partner, speak with your child's other parent. If you really don't feel like your child is safe with the other parent's new partner, it's reasonable to ask your child's other parent not to leave the child alone with the partner.
 
6. KEEP YOURSELF SAFE FROM ABUSE. If you are being abused or harmed by a spouse or partner, or his or her temper makes you nervous,,. then remember, you are not the only one in danger. Even if the person has never hurt your child yet, can you guarantee he never will?
 
7. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN that they should come to you if anyone hurts them, ever. If your child tells you that he is afraid of someone, believe him, and keep him away from that person... even if it is someone you have always trusted or cared about.
 


ONLINE ARTICLES ABOUT KEEPING YOUR KIDS SAFE FROM ABUSE
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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REMEMBER THE CHILD
(author unknown)
 
ABC me crying, Momma make me smile.
Rock me in your arms a little while.
ABC me crying; Won't you love your child?
 
EFG I'm sorry, Daddy, take my hand.
Tell me what I've done so bad.
EFG I wonder, why are you so mad?
Don't you love me, Dad?
 
Cross my heart, I swear, Mom
I won't cry no more.
I'll just lay in silence down here on the floor.
Cross my heart and hope to die if
you don't want me any more!
 
1234 you mom, I won't talk so loud.
I won't laugh so hard.
I'll shut my mouth.
1234 you, Mom, I won't make a sound.
 
Do re mean and angry words are all I hear
Through my bedroom walls, Dad,
loud and clear.
Do Re Me, I lie awake and shake with fear
and wish I had no ears.
 
Try to remember the Child
That once wasm you.
Did you hide in the darkest corner of your lonely room?
And pray to God to help you through the long and lonely nights?
Afraid to holler, "Momma,
oh please come hold me tight!"
 
Go on and close your eyes, Mom.
Take a little trip through time, Dad.
Let it all come back to you...
 
And give unto every child the love
The love denied to you
And remember the child will remember
And remember the child will remember
His whole lifetime, too.

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Angel's Treehouse
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A fun and safe place for kids on the web!

Visit Angel's Treehouse, a safe place where kids can play games, find penpals, publish their drawings and writing, and even create their own website!




Article Published By ChildHelpUSA
 THINGS “GOOD” PARENTS DO
THAT MAY HARM THEIR CHILD

Almost everyone has seen adults playfully tossing infants into the air and catching them. Growing knowledge of the development of infants’ and young children’s brains indicate, however, that this form of play may be harmful.

Infants are especially susceptible to injuries from shaking during the first 12 months of life. (Children as old as four years of age may also be at risk of brain damage from violent shaking.)

Due to an infant’s large head and weak neck muscles, any strong whiplash motion may cause blood vessels to tear, creating subdural hematoma (intracranial bleeding) and brain damage. Possible results may include death, brain damage, paralysis, seizures, blindness, deafness, mental retardation, motor dysfunction, or learning and developmental disabilities. There are often no external physical signs of trauma (e.g., bruises, skull fractures, swelling). The only indicator may be flu-like symptoms.

These same injuries often result from a form of child abuse called Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS), which is caused when a caregiver violently shakes an infant—often when the baby won’t stop crying.

Other things that Childhelp USAŽ cautions parents against include:

  • Playing “airplane” by holding the child by the wrist and ankle and swinging them around.
  • Violently shaking a child who has stopped breathing, due to an accident or illness (such as a very high temperature). Instead of shaking the child, call 911 (or your local emergency service, if a different number) and immediately begin CPR and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.


 

NEVER, EVER,EVER HURT A CHILD!